3 tips – Working with a difficult colleague

Unfortunately working with a difficult colleague is something that can be found in most workplaces. I would often say that the workplace is like a social experiment; you are surrounded with people whom you may not otherwise meet or be around which can be a challenge in itself. Trying to work professionally with those around you can be tricky, especially when you need to work with a difficult colleague.

Personally I can relate to this, I try to be respectful and courteous to those around me but there can be that one person who just seems to get on my nerves. It can be oh so easy to respond to a difficult colleague in a curt manner or write a particularly sharp email to them but it does not get anywhere. In fact, what generally happens is we dragged into something that we did not want to be involved with and then our behaviour or actions can make us appear to be that ‘difficult colleague’.

What I have done is to put together 3 tips for you when working with a difficult colleague.

1.       Take a look at yourself and the situation.

This is often hard to do but I would suggest you ask and answer a few questions of yourself. What has happened to cause the situation? Are you reacting appropriately? Is this a problem you have had with a few other colleagues? Is this a situation I really need to address? And the wise old phrase, ‘pick your battles carefully’ should always be in the back of your mind – not every situation is going to be worth addressing, either from a time perspective or from the perspective of managing your reputation in the workplace.

2.       Speak to someone you can trust to get some support from.

When I am approached for support when working with a difficult colleague often the questions I get asked are ‘how do I make sure I am not dragged into something I do not want to be part of’, ‘what can I do so that I do not start to come across as difficult as well’, ‘who can I get support from or confide in when I am in work about this’, ‘why is this happening, I normally get on with everyone’.

Often when you speak to a confidant it helps, you can talk about what is going on and get a different perspective on things. This can be really beneficial, especially when trying to figure out how to deal with the situation, or not as the case may be.

3.       Talk to the difficult colleague.

After you have considered the first two points and you have decided you want to address the situation or issue, I would suggest that your next step is to speak with the person directly in a timely manner. It is necessary to stress here that if the difficult colleague is by any way aggressive or makes you feel uncomfortable, speak with your manager or member of HR or any other manager in your company you are comfortable to speak with to get support. Otherwise, try and speak to the difficult colleague when the situation or problem has recently occurred. It is generally better to not have to say, ‘I want to speak with you about xxxx that happened a few weeks ago/last month’. I know from experience that ignoring the problem or avoiding dealing with it does not help. When speaking with the person focus on yourself…so use the word ‘I’ and focus on your experience of the situation(s)…. rather than focusing on them as this avoids coming across like you are accusing the person.

Often working with a difficult colleague needs support and advice so you are comfortable and confident in managing the issue so get in touch to see how I can work with you – myhrguardian@gmail.com – looking forward to hearing from you.